


Karmic Chains

by NanakiBH



Category: Final Fantasy Type-0
Genre: Clairvoyance, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Groundhog Day, Light Angst, Nihilism, Spoilers, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:13:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23415088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: "May the Crystal guide you."
Kudos: 6





	Karmic Chains

**Author's Note:**

> (Spoilers)
> 
> I dunno about anyone else, but I personally felt frustrated by the fact that nobody in Class Zero ever really questioned Arecia. Like, at all? Not even one bit? In a way, their pure love for her was really emotional, but... Gotta wonder how they would've felt about her if they'd known the whole, entire truth. Maybe that's the point. Maybe it was meant to illustrate how the machinations of God are incomprehensible to humans. But I don't like it. lol Their parental figure was manipulating them and that just... never got addressed in any meaningful way. Cuz we gotta have that tragic ending, amirite?
> 
> So has anyone else noticed how similar Kingdom Hearts Union X is to Type-0? I'll keep mentioning it until everyone notices. lol It feels like Nomura is trying to fix this specific problem I had with Type-0. God bless the man.

He'd been there before.

In the Sorcery, Jack silently stood outside Mother's office door. He had not yet raised his hand to knock. Getting the sense that he'd been there before at that exact moment, that he'd already spoken to her and asked her the questions that were on his mind... It made him wonder whether he needed to be there at all. It felt like a part of him already knew that there would be no answers for his questions. He only expected to receive her usual ambiguity.

She was their Mother...

She was supposed to be the one who knew what to say, who could always ease their minds.

It didn't feel right, doubting her. When the world was wrong, she was right. That was the way it was supposed to be. But Jack knew that she wouldn't be able to say anything that could put him at ease. A black hole had opened in his mind, overflowing with things that seemed impossible for him to know.

He had a bad feeling, but...

He couldn't even feel bad about it.

Even though he couldn't tell where that feeling came from, part of him had already accepted it. That was the worst thing about it. Whatever it was, it seemed to be so internalized – so permanent and certain – he couldn't even bring himself to properly feel troubled by it. It was like he and that bad feeling were old friends, like they'd been together since before forever. It had always been there, just waiting for him to turn around and notice it.

Unable to feel as anxious as he should have, he just felt tired.

He was tired all the time.

He wanted hope.

Even though he stood in front of that door knowing that Mother would say nothing that could assure him, he was there anyway. Something told him he had to be there, whether it was pointless or not. That was just where he was supposed to be.

The door opened before he could knock.

With her slender cigarette holder balanced elegantly between her fingers, Mother looked down at him and regarded him with calm eyes and a small, mysterious smile.

“Darling. I knew you'd be coming. Please, come in, won't you?”

Jack glanced back over his shoulder, making sure there was no one else in the Sorcery. He didn't want to worry the class. No doubt, if they heard that he went to see Mother, they would have thought that something was wrong. She always made time for her children, but she was a busy person – or so she said. No one ever went to see her for frivolous reasons.

Looking back toward her, he put a smile on his face and followed her into her office.

As the door closed behind them, the smile slipped off his face. Looking at her, he realized something for the first time.

They had something in common. When he smiled, he saw her smiling expression as the reflection of his own insincere smile. Having become so used to faking it, Jack could recognize when someone else was doing it.

He kept an eye on her as she walked toward her desk. As usual, she didn't take a seat. She stopped in front of her desk and turned toward him.

“You knew I'd be coming?” Jack asked.

She nodded, almost imperceptibly.

“Indeed. In fact, isn't that why you're here?”

It was like she was able to read his mind, or... No, that wasn't it. She wasn't a l'Cie. She didn't have special powers. At least, he didn't have any reason to believe that she had special powers. But, the thought was always at the back of his mind. In a strange way, he got the sense that she was above everyone, like she was more than human. It might have just been her propensity to keep information close to her chest which gave him that impression.

Still...

He'd had some very strange thoughts about her nature. He couldn't help but wonder if some of those thoughts were true.

Jack hadn't gone there to ask her about herself, though. He told himself that he could save that for another time, but he already knew that he never would've had the guts to say what he was thinking.

_“Hey, are you some kind of god, or what?”_

As if.

“I wanna know more about this déjà vu phenomenon.”

“Oh?” She raised one perfect eyebrow. “Have you experienced a bout of déjà vu like dear Cater?”

“Not exactly... A lil while ago, I started wondering why our missions have to be kept top secret even when we're in our own academy. I thought it would be funny if there was a sexy imperial spy in our midst... I noticed something suspicious about Ms. Emina, so I started probing her.” Jack paused to gauge Mother's response. “You're aware that she's a spy, right?”

“I don't see her as a concern.”

Vague as always. He couldn't tell if that meant that she'd always known that Emina was a Milites spy, but he suspected that she had. Very little went without Mother's notice. Internal threats to the safety of Akademeia were usually dealt with before the class was even aware of their existence. If she didn't think Emina was a concern, he believed her... But it also bothered him that she allowed Emina to stay despite knowing that she posed a potential threat. He didn't see the logic in letting her remain. Wasn't it her job to protect them?

Maybe she was right. Emina seemed harmless enough...

He sensed a divide in their way of thinking. He didn't understand where Mother's confidence came from. He wished he could be like her. Even though he felt like he could see the things that would happen five paces ahead, the things he saw made him feel weak and helpless.

He wondered if she saw the world differently.

What kinds of things did her eyes see?

Jack kept his back straight even though he was tempted to lay down in defeat. “Recently, I've been getting kinda paranoid that somebody's going to actually spill our secrets to the outside. I hit the nail on the head the first time, so... I'm worried that there's a traitor among us.”

She took a thoughtful drag from her cigarette and let the smoke seep silently from her lips.

“You think you can predict the future?”

“I don't know if it's like that...”

She let out a laugh and crossed her arms. “Being able to see the future would be a rather advantageous ability to have. You'd know whether an endeavor is worth undertaking before you waste your time. I could use an ability like that, myself.”

Jack tried to hide his surprise.

He knew it sounded impossible, but it still surprised him to find out that she couldn't actually see the future. For some reason, it made him feel unexpectedly uneasy, too. He thought of her like a god, so it left him feeling shaken when his perception of her was forced to become anything less.

It bothered him that there were things she refused to tell them. But it bothered him even more to think that there were things she didn't know.

And it scared him to think that there may have been things that he knew which she didn't.

“Maybe that's why I don't feel like doing anything...,” he said quietly, too exhausted to sound like himself. “I don't know why, I get the feeling that everything we're doing is pointless. Like, why bother? If there's no point, then I just wanna enjoy myself and have a good time before the world ends.”

“You're perceptive. That's what makes you so special, darling. You know how to read the tea leaves, so to speak.”

Well, it didn't make him feel special.

Ignorance was supposed to be bliss. He wanted to be more like Cinque and Nine. They always seemed happy. Like, for real. He wanted to know what that was like, to feel real happiness without being burdened by an awareness of the world around him.

That awareness gave him a good survival instinct, sure. But what good was it if it made him miserable?

A short, happy life seemed better than a long life filled with anxiety and despair.

He wanted to forget it all.

“Do you think anyone would blame me if I wanted to sit in my room and do nothing but read porn and practice my music?”

“And let your blade get rusty?” Mother uncrossed her arms and placed a hand on her hip, using her other hand to gesticulate with her cigarette. “Surely you know that you're the strongest of your siblings. They're relying on your strength.”

He knew that.

But, the truth was, he didn't like fighting.

People were disgusting. People were wonderful.

The world was responsible for devising such a cruel contradiction. His heart couldn't decide whether it loved the world or hated it, continually delighted and horrified by everything he saw. In those moments when arrows flew and blades cleaved through flesh, there was a strange exhilaration; the proof of life. Each enemy slain for the sake of the ones he loved made them even dearer to his heart.

Would he have cared as strongly about any of them if there was nothing for him to protect them from? Would he have still felt a desire to make them smile if there was no reason for them to frown?

He didn't like those kinds of thoughts, but they unavoidably met his mind as he sought his own meaning.

He wanted to put an end to the war, but there would have been no place for his optimism in a peaceful world. His existence would have been gratuitous and unnecessary.

“I'm kinda surprised, to be honest,” Jack said with a small, rueful laugh. “I know this'll sound silly, but I kinda thought that you could see the future or something. You always seem to know exactly what we should do.”

That was his way of beseeching her for the answer.

“There are some things in this world which are destined...,” she said, her voice smooth, her gaze going right through him. “But the future is subject to change. You could think of the future like a river flowing between rocks that remain steady in even the most turbulent water.”

Jack held his chin in thought. “They say that the end of the world was foretold by the Nameless Tome. Does that mean that it's destined?”

She surprised him, reaching out to caress his cheek.

“My darling, that is why you're here. It is your destiny to become Agito.”

The Savior...

It was a prestigious title, for sure. It would have been anyone's honor to become Agito.

Agito wasn't real, though. He trusted in the prophesy of the Nameless Tome, but he didn't believe in the existence of a mythical Savior who could prevent the prophesy from being fulfilled. With near certainty, he knew that the world would be consumed by darkness just as it foretold. The gears had been in motion since before he'd realized.

To say that it was his destiny to become something that didn't exist...

“What sort of future do you want?” she asked him.

That was the problem.

Jack had the feeling that there was no future for him. He felt like he would have been getting ahead of himself if he even tried to imagine what he wanted for the future.

Something.

Anything.

There were things she wasn't telling him.

Jack knew that he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but he could tell when someone was trying to pull a fast one on him. She was clearly trying to remove him from her office without telling him what he wanted to know. No matter how hard he stared at her, he was never going to be able to see into her mind to find out what she was thinking.

Normally, he was pretty good at catching people off guard. His ignorance was something he could use to his advantage when it made others underestimate him. Unfortunately, there was probably no one who understood him better than Mother. He couldn't fool her.

Her smile looked so self-satisfied, it irritated him.

When had it started to irritate him?

Hadn't it always comforted him?

The little trust he had left in him was crumbling...

“Thanks for your time,” he said, turning to leave.

“Oh? Going so soon?”

She sounded genuinely surprised. That must have been her pride talking; she couldn't believe that he was leaving before she was able to lull him into a false sense of ease.

Jack left the Sorcery and returned to the entrance.

There, he caught a few students from other classes looking at him, so he quickly affixed a smile to his face before they had the time to question the uncharacteristic, sour expression he'd arrived with. When he waved at them, they immediately dispersed and pretended as if they hadn't been looking, but he could hear their hushed giggles and whispers of admiration.

At least he was liked.

The person they liked wasn't really him, but... That was fine. The real self he kept hidden in his heart wouldn't have contributed anything. What they wanted was Agito, not a boy who felt scared and depressed to the point of apathy.

They wanted a hero.

That word felt so empty to him.

His feet took him toward the cemetery. In the small garden outside their classroom, he found Deuce. She was crouching down to look at the flowers and didn't seem to notice him until she heard his footsteps approaching in the grass.

“Oh, Jack. Are you here to enjoy the weather, too?”

Her smile looked so effortless, it made Jack feel like crying.

Even if it all ended the way it was prophesied, it wasn't meaningless to _try._ Seeing Deuce's brilliant smile, he instantly felt terrible for ever thinking in such a selfish way. It was a clichéd thought, but he wanted to protect that smile more than anything. A smile that honest was enough to give meaning to any decision, no matter how futile.

He crouched next to her and rested his arms over his knees.

“Hey, Deuce... If you knew that the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do? Do you think you'd get fired up and do everything in your power to change it?”

She didn't look surprised by his sudden question. She was used to listening to him talk about strange things.

“Are you talking about Tempus Finis?” she asked. After the briefest moment of thought, she nodded resolutely and gave him her honest answer. “Yes, I think I would.”

That made him smile a little.

Deuce was the type who would have surely always tried her hardest, even against the most insurmountable odds.

“Jack, is something wrong?”

“What if you already tried...? What would you do if you knew that you couldn't change it?”

“You mean, what if the world was going to end for sure?”

Jack nodded.

“Then... I guess I'd try to focus on what comes after,” she said, gently tracing a finger along the closed petals of a young flower that had yet to bloom.

After...

Somehow, he hadn't thought about it like that.

If the feeling he had was more than déjà vu – if the things they were experiencing were really things that had already happened before – then didn't that mean that the world had already ended? But, he was still there. As long as he was still there, that meant that he had time to think of an answer. He didn't need to panic, even if the end was approaching.

As long as he held on to a fragment of his self and managed to remember the things that had happened and the progress he'd made, he could continue to work towards the goal of escaping the end. If he couldn't prevent it from coming, then he had to find a way to leap over it. Then, he could find out what was on the other side.

Without questioning him, without even knowing what he was talking about, Deuce had helped him more than Mother. That was the power of her kindness.

“Thanks, Deuce.” Giggling, he placed a hand on top of her head and gave her a smile that, for once, wasn't entirely forced. “I'm glad I got to talk to you like this.”

Her cheeks turned pink as she raised her eyes to the hand on top of her head.

“I'm not sure I understand, but I'm glad I could help.”

When he realized that his fond gesture was making things awkward, Jack quickly withdrew his hand and tried to innocently play it off by stretching his arms over his head with a yawn. He laid down in the grass with his hands linked behind his head and crossed one leg over the other.

“Don't mind me,” he said as he closed his eyes. “This seems like a comfy place to catch a few Z's. Our next mission will be here before you know it.”

He didn't have his eyes closed for long. He cracked one eye open as he heard Deuce shift closer to his side.

“I'll be here,” she said, folding her hands over her lap, smiling down at him gently.

Jack had to wonder...

When the world ended. After it began again.

If that Deuce from the new future couldn't remember things the way that he did – if their conversation was washed away as if it never happened – then, would that Deuce be the same as the one who was sitting beside him?

Jack looked at her one more time and closed his eyes.


End file.
